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I Just Fucking Love It When This Fucking Happens!
listening to: Diecast
drinking: juice
watching: well, other people are watching some retarded movie..i'm just hoping the music makes it go away...
nothing much happening today. woke up miserable like i have been all this week so far. its been raining like fucking hell all day. it was funny watching Timmy scream everytime the thunder roared and the lightening came crashing down..it got annoying after a while though. Brian and Tommy were next door all afternoon, the momma going back and forth from taking naps in her room and coming out to play on the computer, Timmy playing some retarded Digimon game, and i was sitting by the window watching the rain and the lightening playing Mario World on Tommy's GBA SP. it made me miss the third Mario game. the one with Rocky Raccoon, that was my favorite one! i was thinking of buying it the next time i was out, but that meant Timmy would go apeshit and ask me a thousand times a day if he could play it -___-
ugh...i had another fucked up dream...another fucked up dream that had to do with Garou's, sex and yes..whenever there's sex goth Chris is always there..now i'm not even sure of what the hell is going on with my mind. but this one wasn't like the other ones. when i woke up..i felt scared and really really paranoid. my muscles were practically screaming at me. i dreamt that well..while me and Chris were having "quality time" i shifted into Crinos and killed him. i ripped his fucking throat out and drank his blood. ever since i woke up i just been really...i don't even know how to explain it..i just know that this full moon isn't gonna be a happy one. i'm scared that something is going to happen to Chris..even worse what if i do something to Chris...goddammit what the hell is wrong with me. this feeling reminds me of that one dream i had a long while ago..about almost two years ago.
it was nightime and me and a bunch of my friends were running around in a field. it was a perfect night to run around too. very windy but not cold, you could see every star in the sky. and then out of no where, the full moon came out. and i stood there staring at it, it was yellow-ish white and then it turned blood red and i screamed, "the moon bleeding!" out of everyone in the group the only two that i could see in the moon's light was my cousin Amy and my friend Billy. and then i woke up. i was so scared i couldn't go back to sleep. i felt like a little kid wanting to run to mom's room and sleep next to her bed like i did in ye olde days.
three days after that dream i went to my friend Megan and told her what happened. she's a more experienced Wiccan besides my mom at the time and she told me that in two weeks something bad was going to happen. and of course like always in my life something bad did happen. my cousin Amy nearly died by some fucking asshole. she would of died if i hadn't prevented it. and Billy..well nothing life-threatening happened to him. he was just a really good friend and now..i can't even stand looking at him. fucking dumbass druggie asshole. its sad how you can lose friends just like that over meaningless things.
all those feelings then and now are all bundled up inside of me cuz of another fucked goddamned dream..heh thats not good for me in my condition..especially with 14 days left to go...looks like i'm gonna have a peachy keen fucking night.
10: 29 p.m. - Wednesday, June 8, 2005
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My Necrotic Regulus Lives Once More....
Happy Breaking From The Womb Day To Meh
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