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What Does This Supposed To Mean?
listening to: Rammstein
drinking: soda
watching: Beetlejuice
goddammit..i wish Adrienne was here right now so she can help me with Sara's Shrine thing cuz its being a bastard.
nothing too different has happened today. i didn't go to sleep till about 9 in the morning and somehow still managed to wake up at around three in the afternoon.
i had another fucked up dream..i'm not really sure what it means. but i woke up feeling very sad..
i dreamed that i was in a huge forest. the trees were fucking tall as hell. i was walking down this dirt path and had my friend with me, which was a big Simba (if you think i'm referring to that damned Disney movie..you will die a terrible terrible death, technically a Simba is a were-lion). i have no idea what was going on, but at first things were fine, me and the Simba were playing around as we were walking down the path, but then something bad happened. i'm not sure what it was but it was definitely very bad..so bad that i ended up killing my friend with a spear. i layed down next to him and started crying. i got up and looked down the path and saw a small opening that lead to another part of the forest that was even bigger, the trees thicker and taller than the place i was already in. and it started to glow orange.
and then everything changed...i was now in the really huge part of the forest and instead of it being orange like i thought it would be, it was snowing, everything was so white it was blinding. and for some reason there were rows and rows of shelves full of books. i was supposed to look for a certain book and i was in at this dead end and i heard voices behind the bookcase and i grabbed a book, not sure what, and i ran towards the stairs that lead to nowhere. and i stopped and looked up. i was standing next to this one guy. i didn't really get a good look at him but he was staring at me with this look on his face..sorta like a frown and i guess a look of determination? i tried looking at the sky but this giant, thick sheet of ice was up in the air covering the entire sky as if Atlas were holding it himself, it blocking me from seeing the sky and stars. but there was a hole in it, exactly where the moon was. it was a waxing crescent moon with stars surrounding it. and the moon was getting so shiny and blurry..it was starting to hurt my eyes and i fainted. the guy was still standing there as if waiting for something to happen....
thats all i remember. i'm still trying to figure out what it means. so far the only thing that makes sense is the moon..i was born under a waxing crescent moon..it says that people who were born under a crescent moon, either waxing or waning, is a seer. maybe i'm having these dreams for a reason. i don't know. i would talk to Chris about this, he would understand it..but i haven't heard anything from him in so long.
it still kinda bothers me a little, but everytime i think about the Simba i killed..it makes me so fucking depressed..why did i do it if he was my friend?
the full moon is coming closer and no way of getting in touch with Chris to make sure he'll be okay...goddammit....
11:22 p.m. - Friday, June 17, 2005
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My Necrotic Regulus Lives Once More....
Happy Breaking From The Womb Day To Meh
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