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Thoughts Of Tonight
listening to: Stabbing Westward
drinking: water
watching: nada
i can't help feeling like this..i just feel like everything that i ever had, all the emotions that i ever had is slowly breaking apart..and that there is not a damn thing i can do about it..everyday, every minute i feel everything drift away, turning into distant memories...i've become so weak..i've become so helpless and disgusted by the way how i am. i wish i could of done better. i wish i can stop crying myself to sleep but its the only comforting thing i have left. i no longer have someone to hold me. i no longer have someone special to look up to, to feel loved and protected. i am alone with only memories.
I've been so alone for so long
Forgotten by the world
Forgotten to myself
Your effervescent eyes have awakened me
And brushed the dust away
But i knew you'd never stay
So i memorized the color of your eyes as i lost myself inside you
And i memorized the way our legs entwined as i drifted off beside you
I miss
God i miss
Waking up beside you
At night i cling to you, i'm so afraid
Afraid the day will come
And i'll wake and find you gone
But you promised that you'd not abandon me
And kissed my fears away
But i woke up to that day
But i memorized the way our eyes would meet reflected in the bathroom mirror
And i memorized your naked silhouette as you slowly brushed your hair
I miss
God i miss
Waking up beside you
I've been so alone for so long
I forgot how much it hurts
To wake up so alone
But i memorized how warm your body felt as you lay half asleep beside me
And i memorized the way the sunlight filled the room and played upon your body
I miss
God i miss
Waking up beside you
I miss
God i miss
Waking up beside you
--Waking Up Beside You, Stabbing Westward
oy..i'm getting the fuck outa here for awhile...i just need to walk this off and hopefully some kind of peace or whatever is out there in the night...
8:34 p.m. - Tuesday, September, 13, 2005
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My Necrotic Regulus Lives Once More....
Happy Breaking From The Womb Day To Meh
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