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Memories of Pre-Hell and More Garou Babble
::sweatdrops:: oy oy oy...for the last hour i've been trying to change the music part of mein diary. took fucking forever to fit all that in there without having some of the stuff cut off.
nothing has been happening again. Timmy's staying home again for the second time cuz he's sick..the way how he's been acting i think he's lying. HE WON'T EVER SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! i tried taking a nap but it didn't work out..almost put a hole in the wall from banging on it signifying for him to SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! ::twitch-twitch::
ON TO BETTER NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!! JOSE FINALLY LEFT!!!!! ^____________^ yuppers his dumbass left quite early this time. and he's getting more annoying also. he won't stop bugging po' Brian's mum. all he ever talks about is: "When you gonna move? When you gonna move? When you gonna move? How much longer is it until you move? Why can't you move now?"..............i have one word.....ASSHOLE!!!! SHE WILL DECIDE WHEN WE FUCKING MOVE WHEN SHE FUCKING FEELS LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! oy!
nothin much else left to say....i had some weird ass dream where i was walking around in me old neighborhood where i grew up at. i was standing in my old backyard where the swing set was and the pretty peach tree that blooms pink petals in the spring (fuck i miss that tree so much)i was staring at the moon and stars, then i started walking to that one street..uhhh..i think it was called Boston St...and for some reason my buddies Adrienne and Krystal were parked in the middle of one of the streets. we talked for a little bit about...something that i don't remember...::sweatdrops:: then next thing i know i'm in lupus form (or lupine whatever the hell that form is called) stuck in some area in Fort Bragg..i know i was near some road..i was surrounded by lots of trees and wired fences...i wanted to go one certain way but it didn't feel right so i went off somewhere else, the end.
i need to stop having so many goddammed depressing dreams...these past few days i can't stop thinking about wishing and wanting to do over me childhood. not just so i can see my olds friends again, but i kinda miss my sister and mum. i really wish i can do over that crap. maybe if i weren't so damn angry all the time back then maybe things would been alot better sooner. but its too late, one sister is already on the other side of the nation and i'll be leaving in a few months so i can't see my other sister and mum....also i miss hanging out in my backyard, sitting on the munky bars, staring at the sunset and having pretty pink petals blowing everywhere (except into my goddammed eyes..that hurts). and then when i got older, two years before we were evicted (i only lived to be 14 in that house), i used to go out everynight for maybe two or three hours. if i didn't go outside everynight, i'd go crazy and have tantrums..it was the way i was. i needed to be out everynight cuz during those times, it was the only thing that made all the bads thoughts and feelings go away. but dammit i miss laying down on the munky bars, staring at the sky.
its alot harder to do that here cuz if i were to be gone for more than two hours, Brian would freak out. he doesn't like me going out alone at night, especially in the woods. well he doesn't have to worry anymore..fucking redneck hicks are tearing down all the trees around here to make more room for this neighborhood and the one next to us. ::sigh:: i swear when we move..they're better be a goddammed forest near us. i don't like the idea of being a city garou..i'd rather run around on green grass, pounce off of tree trunks and dive into lakes, rivers, etc. and not jump from building roof to building roof and land on hard cement ground...bleh thats just icky. i don't think i'd be used to that. but Brian says he had no choice but to get used to it, said its fun. whatever..i guess i'm just gonna have to find out.
"If I were to be executed, I'd much rather have a little while than a short time." --George Carlin
10:47 a.m. - Tuesday, February 1, 2005
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My Necrotic Regulus Lives Once More....
Happy Breaking From The Womb Day To Meh
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