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My Very Own Poisonous Curse

listening to: Tool
drinking: nada
watching: nada

i don't know anything anymore..i don't know me anymore....everyday.....everynight......when i go to sleep..when i wake up...i have this burning inside of me..like my insides..my organs..my heart wants to shrivel away and die..i can't stand wanting to throw up whenever i wake up to face reality..when i smell or look at food..little bits of throw up and stomach acid rise up in my throat..my head constantly hurts..i can't stop the crying..i'm actually starting to go on my night walks again..but i don't find comfort in it anymore..i just hurt..love just fucking hurts....i want to be by his side now..especially now..but he scares me sometimes..and i don't know how to stop it...i feel so weak and helpless like everything i do is wrong and stupid..maybe i'm just meant to feel like this forever...maybe i don't deserve anything or anyone...its always been some sort of curse for me...all i ever wanted was a nice long relationship with someone that i love..someone that i will do anything for...i detest one night stands even though i've had my fair share...and the funny thing is..i was better off with them..why..just fucking why..do i have this...what the fuck is wrong with me....

8:39 p.m. - Sunday, September 4, 2005

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Welcome Home

My Necrotic Regulus Lives Once More....

Fuck This Game

Who Would Of Thought Ne?

Happy Breaking From The Womb Day To Meh

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