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Hooray!!!! I'm Being Attacked By After-Relationship Thoughts XP

listening to: the a/c here is pretty damn loud >_>;;
drinking: nada
watching: nada

meh..still at Anthony's house, he's at work and Adrienne is past out on the futon..just woke up from a nap. felt kinda good but i'm still cold >_<

oy..i've just been having a few thoughts thats been bothering me for some reason. i don't know..its just really weird to be single again. it doesn't really feel like it either..like sometimes i'm thinking "meh..gotta get home soon so i can give Brian some attention.." and then immediately i get flashbacks from yesterday and its like "....oh....yeah.."

::sigh::

last night sadly enough i found myself drawing tears..it just feels weird to sleep alone again. i miss being able to feel the body heat of the person that i love..but now..i don't really have that many things left to care about..i mean i'm glad that the worst is over..i can have my life back, do things that i wanna do..get a job, collect some money, go to college and all that great mess...but it just sucks not having someone else around...

what really surprises me is that i actually drew those tears out of sadness cuz i think a part of me is starting to miss Brian...but i refuse to go back..i wouldn't allow myself to. after all the crap i went through to please him for a year and a half..forget it..whats done is done and i just have to move on..

i hate feeling like this..i hate feeling sorry for myself...goddammit..well looks like once i get back home its time to get the rest of my crap together, clean out the old room and fix it back up from the ye olde high school days and then start my usual healing process...goddamn i have alot of memories to erase..this time i don't wanna remember any of it..

oh happy fuck..how am i ever going to get over this one?

6:33 p.m. - Friday, September 23, 2005

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Welcome Home

My Necrotic Regulus Lives Once More....

Fuck This Game

Who Would Of Thought Ne?

Happy Breaking From The Womb Day To Meh

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