-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another Day Another Death
listening to: Amon Amarth
drinking: nada
watching: nada
i don't know if i can handle this anymore....i don't think i've been this depressed....its been so long since something like this has happened. out of nowhere too....the kitty Pope has fallen.....
Leo died in my arms.
i completely panicked i didn't know what to do. i knew he was sick but i didn't think he end up leaving today. i'm pretty sure he was infected with leukemia. he wouldn't eat or drink anything, he was weezing very badly, could barely move. so today i let him out of Tommy's room and very slowly he walked inside a cage and collapsed. i picked him up and held him for a while. after a while i put him back in Tommy's room thinking nothing bad was going to happen, that he'd survive somehow.
then sometime during the afternoon, the door was open and we found Leo in the hallway crawling and meowing pretty badly. i figured this was my last chance to get any pics of poor Leo so i got my camera and took a few pics. he actually looked happy too. Tommy and Brian left back into the living room so i picked Leo up and took him back to bed. i layed down with him for a while, petting him and something told me that he was about to go so naturally i started crying. i couldn't stand hearing him weeze like that. so i prayed to my Lord Satan to take over, to make Leo's suffering and pain go away. after that i put the blankie over him, gave him one of my stuffed animals to lay next to.
i couldn't stand being in that room anymore, so right when i got up..out of nowhere Leo started screaming really loud like he was trying to force something out of his throat, like he was being choked to death. he jumped up, screaming in pain, screaming to get something out, rolling over constantly sorta like he was having seizures. i freaked out and started screaming, it was too much for me.
Brian and Tommy ran in and took me out of the room. i couldn't hold myself up so i ran to the couch and balled up and cried...fuck i hate crying but seriously all of this was way too much.
Leo was the eighth cat that has died this summer. yesterday, the last kitten that belonged to Princess didn't survive. now literally Princess has lost all of her offspring (Leo was her son that was born last summer)
i feel so bad for her. she keeps meowing constantly all motherly like. she keeps going inside the cages cuz she still thinks she has kittens somewhere. Cloe seems to be ok with her kittens, she's usually a total and complete bitch to everyone but all day Cloe and Princess have been really luvvy dubby.
now i'm so fucking paranoid that Corey or the other cats have gotten leukemia. i need to come up with some money so i can get their shots and crap checked out...that and neutering..i don't want anymore kittens. this summer has completely fucked my head up with all of these deaths. i know everyone that has died is better and having fun beating the shit out of each other again, but it still really hurts. especially after hearing Leo's screams. its still echoing in my head.
alls i can say is that i love you Leo. i love you alot.
fuck....i want to be drunk tonight.......i want to be drunk right fucking now......
12 MORE FUCKING DAYS TILL KiTTy's 20TH BREAKING FROM THE FUCKING WOMB DAY
7:45 p.m. - Monday, August 8, 2005
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Necrotic Regulus Lives Once More....
Happy Breaking From The Womb Day To Meh
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Free Hit Counters
|
other diaries: a-z-a |